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Asian Parenting = Tiger Parenting?

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  April 12, 2021

Growing up as Asians, it suffices to say that our parents at least once told us to grow up being doctors, engineers or lawyers right? It was like they had everything planned out for us. All we had to do was study hard and follow the trails set out for us.

 

Does Asian parenting equate to “tiger parenting”? Did the curfews, no-sleepover rules, timed tv watching sessions, rotans that we “ate” when we were disobedient give meaning to anything and shaped us into who we are today?

 

In this article, we talk about the tears and sweats that we’ve shed over the years enduring the idiosyncratic Asian parenting we grew up with!

 

“No parent would want to see their child fail.” This notion holds particularly true for Asian parents- our parents, which is why the results-oriented culture is entrenched in their parenting styles. They are overbearing and overprotective when it comes to even the tiniest details concerning us.

 

To them, we are eternally their 7-year-old child who needs hand-holding crossing the road. We will forever be that kid who gets left out in parties and gatherings because our parents didn't give us the green light to leave- And even when we did manage to go out, we will still need to follow the house rules of “being back before x o’clock before I call the police to file a missing person report.”

 

They want us to achieve significant results. They want to see straight A’s. Sometimes even scoring an 80 means you did not do your best.

 

They hope for us to lead a good and comfortable life that is the opposite of their pasts. 

 

True enough, this could be hard for some of us to break out of our shells, make friends and learn to be social. 

 

Because what will become of us if we were to have our parents being immortal and policing us forever?

 

We needed to learn to function as adults in the real world without all the constant supervision and babysitting. We needed to fall off the bike to know how painful it is to fall on our own and get a bloody knee before we notice it has been our parents’ support all along preventing the fall.

 

Indeed, our lack of a “normal” or “enjoyable” childhood compared to westerners could be attributed to the stressful and unsympathetic Asian parenting styles. But being the vicious tigers they are, they were merely doing what they thought will benefit us- their cubs the most when we eventually leave their nest and go off on our own in the wild.

 

“You see after I die who want to nag you? Who so free want to control you?”

 

After all, that’s what Asian moms always say right? 

 

But have you seen the joy on your parents’ faces when the c-section process of having you was a success? Or the tears on their faces after they sent you off to college?

 

Asian parenting might not have or probably did whip us into better human beings today. Are you grateful for your parents? 

 

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